"No Pain, No Gain" is No Good

How to figure out what you body can handle and how to pull back if it's too much.

We’ve all heard the infamous phrase: “No pain, no gain!” Born in the 1980s fitness era, it was once the gold standard for training motivation. But thankfully, we’ve come a long way since then.

For women in the peri- and post-menopausal stages of life, recovery isn't optional—it’s essential. We simply can't handle the same training volume and minimal rest we once could. And chances are, you've already felt this firsthand.

As more women step confidently into the weight room, it's easy to get overwhelmed by what we think we should be doing. The expectations, comparisons, and pressure can lead us to push harder than our bodies are ready for.

Finding Your Threshold

If you're newer to structured strength training, figuring out what your body can handle can be tricky. If you constantly feel wiped out after workouts, or like you're not recovering between sessions, you're probably doing too much.

Here are three key variables to assess and adjust: Frequency, Duration, and Intensity.

1. Frequency – How often are you training?

Compare how many days you're currently exercising to how many days your program demands. If you've been consistently working out three times a week, jumping to six is a recipe for burnout. Just like you wouldn’t go from 0 to 60 behind the wheel, you shouldn't go from three to six workouts overnight.

Instead, gradually increase to four days, then five, and so on. Consistency is king (or queen!)—and frequency is the most important variable to master for long-term success.

2. Duration – How long are your workouts?

Once you've nailed down your training frequency, take a look at how long your sessions are. If you’ve been doing 20-minute workouts, don’t suddenly double it. Try bumping it up to 30 minutes, then 40, until you can comfortably handle 60-minute sessions—if that even feels necessary.

3. Intensity – How hard are you working?

Lastly, evaluate your effort level. If you've been doing two sets of 15 reps, it's not a smart move to leap into four sets of four heavy reps. That kind of intensity demands far more recovery, which you may not be ready for.

Intensity should always be increased last, and only once you’re recovering well from your current workload.

Listen to Your Body (Not Just the Plan)

Over the past few years, I’ve heard from thousands of women who struggle with skipping or modifying a planned workout. I get it—there’s a sense of guilt or failure when we don’t "check the box." But we have to shift our mindset.

There’s a difference between being unmotivated and being truly under-recovered. Knowing when to push and when to pull back is a skill—and one that gets more important as we age. Ignoring the signs your body is giving you won’t lead to better results. In fact, it can do the opposite: fewer gains, more fatigue, and eventually, burnout.

Whether you're following a program on my app or any other platform, take responsibility for scaling it to meet your needs. You’re not cheating the system—you’re honoring it.

The Bottom Line

If you feel like you’re not recovering well from your workouts, here’s your order of operations:

1. Pull back on intensity

2. Then reduce duration

3. Lastly, lower frequency—if needed

   
   

There’s no trophy for burning yourself out.

Give yourself permission to train at the level your body can adapt to. The goal isn’t to destroy you—it’s to challenge you just enough to spark positive change.

And as for that “no pain, no gain” mentality? It was never meant for us—especially not in midlife.